flying paper

Lenten Observance

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one, well, yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains, carried the cross
Of my shame, Of my shame
You know I believe it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I am over two weeks into Sabbatical now, and I feel as though nothing has really been accomplished, however this is certainly not the case. I think I am going to extend this year's sabbatical dates, since I have a great deal to do personally this year, and business is slow. I have decided that I'd like to document the process I'm going through right now, personally and especially in terms of downsizing.

I am going through a critical period regarding things. I have no patience for things that do not follow the key I have realized is very important when sorting items. If I want to keep it around it has to follow the scale. It's got to be either very beautiful, very useful, or very sentimental - and preferably all three - for me to want it around. Now, Murphy, our whippet, he's beautiful and sentimental, and I argue based on science telling us that furry friends keep us healthier and less stressed that he's even useful, too. So I'm going to keep him around.

I am also slowly acquiring the perfect storage cases for things. The other night after a lovely supper with my Gran and Aunt, I took Gran for a brief sojourn into Value Village, where I purchased a little red pleather makeup case for $2 which is the perfect size and strength to house my nail polish collection, as well as the remover, cotton pads, emery boards, and my best set of nail clippers. This case is a third the size of the former basket, where dozens of random toiletries were housed. It's also ultra portable, so I can take it with me to friend's houses for pampering purposes. It's a small victory over the many tiny chaoses that exist in my home. Another ten or twenty such victories and I will begin to see a great many changes manifesting in a more visible way.

I took some photographs of jewellery which I'm hoping to trade with friends - the first of the small items I'll be dispensing with - many of them to friends.

I've been working on a time-lapse photography project - currently on the third and final stage, after taking a time lapse of Murphy following the sun along the couch, a much cooler time-lapse of my friend and fellow artist drawing caricatures, and after a super long day of shooting, soon I'll be editing the time lapse I started doing it all for - the board game cafe in Edmonton whose patron I've become, along with countless others.

I'm a little ways in to a glass etching project as well for my kitchen, which I hope to continue working on in the next few days. I'm in a bit of a limbo this week, and I'm trying to kickstart my remaining time, since there is much to do.

Lent begins tomorrow. This year, instead of specifically giving anything up or adding anything to my life, I am doing something I do much better than either of those things and giving a theme to my Lenten journey - and that theme is Edification. To clarify, edification involves that which is uplifting, improving, and bettering. Those things are at the heart of my sabbatical ideals as well, so it is appropriate that I should consider those things while I continue.

Today for example, I did a lot of sitting about. And despite concluding a very long-term project of collecting all the paperwork and values required for taxes and sending them in, I kept feeling like I hadn't done anything of value. Then I put my butt in gear and learned how to make what passes for fried rice, which was, well, nearly as easy as it sounds actually. I happened to have the right ingredients on hand to make myself a nice meal of the leftover rice from yesterday's butter chicken - which is now going on my growing list of meal planning sides, which over the course of the next year is going to turn into actual meal planning. I also took photographs and posted over six things I wanted to sell to Kijiji. In the end, I'm starting to tip the balance of feeling okay about my day, and sometimes I realize that's the best I can ask for, especially these days when I've been really struggling, and struggling to admit that I'm struggling.

I'm hanging by a moment on some things, financially, spiritually. All I can do is pray and trust that it will all iron out. Thankfully I have no reason to suspect that it won't.