I have friends

The Students on the Bus Go Bounce, Bounce, Bounce

What a whirlwind the last half of the summer has been. After really feeling like life was quite ponderous there for a little while, I got hit by the speed train of a lot of inquiries and weddings to edit - not to mention the big new thing on the vocation side of things.

Some awesome things have happened this summer. I got a super classy pair of red spring-fall boots that I can't wait to wear with skirts this Fall and feel utterly stylish. Paul can testify to the fact that I got really girly talking about it, and for good reason - a woman with feet my size and shape has a tough time finding sexy boots. This is the first pair of totally stylish boots I've ever owned that fit me. I am so pumped. I also got a really bad perm, which has left my hair kind of awfully winging out with no shape or anything. Sadly I've also not had time to get a refund for it. Oh well - hair disasters are a part of life. I only hope that now that I'm growing out my hair even longer than last time that I will have nice hair a year from now.

Lying on our backs and counting the stars
Where the cool grass grows

After having missed most of the wonderful events of the universe like auroras and meteor showers of the past five years or so, Paul graciously accompanied me to a blanket on the side of the hill in the dog park, where Murphy roamed in the dark, king of the hill, and occasionally buzzed past us like a low flying plane while we watched the skies intently to see a half dozen shooting stars and talked and cuddled in the cool of the late summer night. I've been feeling for some time like being an adult has kind of made me turn down the possibility of a lot of these moments. Like the other day when I went to co-op, I knew I wasn't going to be getting much for groceries and I really wanted to use one of the little kid carts, but I chose to be an adult and get a big cart instead. I used to love those little carts as a kid.  I think if the opportunity arises again, I might actually do it. Screw what other people think. Life is too short not to enjoy the smallest pleasures, and I need to remember that I can just do that.

Kind of a private thing made public, but because it's a big thing for me. A couple of months ago I realized that going on and off of SSRI depression meds was stupid, that I wasn't going to somehow "train my body" like some people talk about, that these brain drugs, for me, are no different than someone with thin blood taking clotting medication because their body is simply deficient in that way. My body is simply deficient in serotonin, and there's no reason why I shouldn't be taking a drug that for me has no side effects except improved quality of life, mental and emotional stability, and far fewer issues with food. I mean really, how much of a martyr am I being for no good reason, for a few dollars a month of drugs that really, really work for me when nothing else ever has? I was a proponent of antidepressants for years as I saw the good they did in the lives of others who had temporary issues, but my own journey was more hesitant. I can tell you now that I will never go off of them again. They make me more me, and my issues with these drugs were narrow minded and wrong, as hindsight is 20/20. After talking with my doctor and therapist about all this, I feel stronger and more confident about the decision. I'm a lifer. It means I get to be the best self I have the power to be, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. I think I know who I am and who I can become with this help.

I've had a few more negative situations this summer too, though the vast majority of my clients are the best I've ever had, a couple experiences have been less than savoury, and I'm working though the negative emotions to forgive the people involved and move on with more wisdom - and more stories to tell about sessions that could definitely have gone better.

God has been on my case lately about trusting him more. And by lately I mean pretty much all year. I'm actually really starting to work on it, and it's been a good process for me. So he can stop reminding me about it every day now. Right? Guess not.

And on that note - I think God has finally provided a job I can pick up for a few years to help pay off our debts. It's finally news that I'm freely sharing with everyone - I'm going to add becoming a bus driver to my list of things to do here at the end of the summer. It's practically suicidal what with three weddings to edit and nine sessions… But I'll get through it. I'm three days in and actually loving my bus training so far and extremely impressed with the quality of training. I was honestly expecting to be a little bored, but I am really excited and loving it. Today I drove a bus around a parking lot… and I did it pretty darn well. I think they might actually be fast tracking me starting tomorrow, which is very encouraging. I am going to be a full time spare with them - meaning I have a bit more freedom to take 15 days off during the school year - which will help with my weekday wedding, Vegas, and other long term plans.

Today I drove the bus around on city streets for the first time, and aside from once going over a curb fairly early on, I didn't hit anything or look like a fool. I actually got used to it pretty quickly and really enjoyed myself. My instructor was super awesome and it was good. 40 foot, 72 passenger behemoth with me inside and I felt like I was handling it well.

Sadly, the bouncing bus aggravated some injuries sustained in the course of other work, and I had to find a new chiropractor and get an adjustment because I was in an incredible amount of pain after work when the advil started wearing off. Tomorrow my priority one is the advil. Every few hours.

Finally, the biggest thing that's happened is that Paul had to give his work some more info on whether he was planning to stick around, so after an hour long conversation about options, the following day Paul was much more open with his boss about what's been going on with us and what our plans are. He's going to stick with the job for another year - and then as of now, the plan is that we're thinking of moving back to Edmonton. I have mixed feelings about this, however after travelling to Edmonton 17 weekends so far this year, and it's looking to be more like 20-25, I'm figuring that if we went to Saskatoon half that often we'd see nearly as much of people as we already do. A lot of people have said they think we'd be better off there - friends and loved ones especially, not to mention my clients! So that's the new tentative plan, after I had finally resigned myself to Saskatoon forever… Ah well, these things happen. I'm going to continue on loving my beautiful home in Saskatoon for another year and then we'll see. I've had a second staff person quit for personal reasons, and I have someone else in mind, which is good, because I'm behind.

I've recently done a lot of great work with great people. I shot an amazing country wedding, and a lake-beach wedding, and an incredible engagement session with some clients I can't wait to work with… Good stuff all around - should be going up on the work blog soon, but everything goes up in the portfolio section sooner - and on Facebook.

A few footnotes. I did go to Folkfest this year - lots of new pavilions, some good entertainment, and lots of other pavilions had interpreters, maps, and ways to learn about the country or region, which makes me happy. I've spent some wonderful time with friends, on porches and in basements, watching movies and talking about life. Giving everyone my rant about how our municipal taxes are too low and the city is in trouble, people my age don't know what their property taxes pay for and complain about them, and how putting three coins in seven slots is not mismanaging, it's simply not having enough…It's pretty much my favourite rant lately. I recently bought some things from the Re-store (a used building supply store) that cost me $16. It would have been $70 in store, so I feel like I made like $50 in 15 minutes. That's one way to do it anyway.

I am feeling hopeful these days. My days are long and hard, but after a nice time at a provincial park beach, I am taking Paul to one on Sunday for a bit to just chill. It's going to be great.