*hugs*

Finish It and Forget It

Lifestyles of the rich and famous…
They're always complaining, always complaining
If money is such a problem

You got so many problems, think I can solve them

I've had a bit of a frustrating couple of months with regard to people backing out or cancelling on me, and not only that but there's a bunch of money floating around in the banking system that I'm having trouble accessing, whether because of weekends, email issues, or cheques taking a stupidly long time to clear… So I've spent a lot of time steeping in frustration and trying to ignore it and get things done. Today I spent pretty much all day driving halfway to Edmonton and back because the person cancelled because there was a blizzard in Edmonton. In mid-April. *sigh* At least I got to listen to a bunch of my old music classics and half an audiobook, and I bought a royal purple cowl neck blouse on sale at the Penningtons in Lloydminister for $14. Bargain hunting has become a fun hobby. And it's high time to throw out some of the shirts I've had since the high school era. Sheesh.

I've done everything I can to stress-bust and work on some new projects and clear up some old ones. I have only one more wedding to edit and then I am clear of editing for a solid two weeks. I am working on a  new homepage for the Admire Studios page - the one that now forwards to my main commercial pages - but I wanted the main address from the business cards to take people to a really cool display of some of my best photos with options to see my local pages wherever they were from instead of just trying to auto-direct them - helps to have a little bit of content for Google purposes as well. The best part is that the whole process of making the new site using a really cool Wordpress template I found is going to be about 2.5 hours and have close to zero maintenance. I am very, very happy about a solution that works so well in all ways.

Today after getting home from my road trip for-no-good-reason, I moved a few boxes in our storage area and re-made our laundry area as well. Keeping laundry bags upstairs and downstairs should help keep the flow of laundry moving, and for a paltry $20 we could have the remaining bags we need to have a fully operational system. We've never had that before! Things might actually get done! =)

I won't lie, just using the word "system" gives me a tiny jolt of adrenaline. Could be because I have a mental disorder that's a strain of OCD. But if that's the good thing I get out of it, I'll take it for now!

I have streamlined so much of life already and I'm only just getting started!! I get a thrill out of reading Lifehacker articles, finding the perfect way to set something up in my home, and I get almost as much of a thrill out of using and tweaking the system as of making it, which is great for my self-esteem and my life in general. I feel so much more on top of things lately! Sabbatical and Productivity Systems have revolutionized my life for the better.

I've also got a bit of a handle of how much is there that I want to sell or re-pack or display, and I'd like to start working it over a box or two at a time. Maybe an item at a time. If I did one a day we'd be looking at a much more managable storage area with room on the floor for setting up an easel and taking out the art supplies! I wouldn't mind doing that sometime in the next few months.

So there is a great balance in my life - a small portion of it is not flowing easily, but will eventually be corrected. The rest is flowing so easily it's kind of amazing. Nothing is horribly wrong. YAY!

I was drenched in sweat when your words came to me

I'll never let go, I'll never let go, you said out loud

After so many condo renovations that I was out of energy, I sat in the condo in the spot where Paul and I first held hands, and first kissed, and asked him what the place represented to him. He told me it was, to him, like my first car was to me. Something I definitely understood. Freedom, rite of passage, hope for the future, entry into adult life... We signed the papers to sell with our Realtor on Tuesday. To me it felt like an accomplishment. To Paul it was a relief to find that a possible complication we thought might be in our way wasn't a problem. On Wednesday evening, we approved the listing. On Thursday at 1pm, there was a showing. On Friday, there was an offer - too low, but you don't just have to stop there. We counter offered at the exact price we were really hoping to sell for. Our realtor called us and started saying that the buyer and their realtor had been thinking about a counteroffer, then he paused, and then said they'd decided to just accept our offer! The condo sold for the exact amount that we had pinpointed for our ideal sale price - what we wanted for it. The money it represents is enough to really make a huge dent in our lives. It will cut our personal debt by more than half - 56% to be exact. One can't do that every day.

So all the paperwork is already signed and the Condo is sold provisionally! We got exactly what we wanted for it within 48 hours of it going on the market. I can't help but feel that my spiritual changes and sabbatical have brought me back in line for all the great stuff that used to happen to me. Some of you might not have known me when I was "lucky" but for most of my life, life would go really well for me in a lot of areas - things would turn out, doors would open… Then I just had three really tough years where only a tiny fraction of my usual smooth sailing was in effect. But finally I seem to be back on calm waters. And I am so grateful to God for helping me get there again.

I am thinking it is probably time for me to incorporate my business. I need to look into it, but separating personal and business finances is probably a wise idea at this point and it will simplify my life in future.

Hey, ho straight through the heart

I'm for you, and I know you're there for me

GIve me a high five

In just a couple of days I'm heading to Vancouver for a partly personal and partly professional development trip for a week and a half, and since I am taking a computer with me I will try to keep the blog posts coming to talk about all the cool things I saw and did. But I can tell you that a good portion of the trip will be spent vegging in the spring sun on my friend's Dad's houseboat in the harbour with her, because that's where I'll be for ¾ of the trip. I also managed to hoard away a bit of cash to spend on thrift store clothes, transit, street vendor food, partying with other photographers at the Canada Photo Convention (I'm now one of the organizers, so you can expect me to be heading out to Vancouver for April for some time) and other lovely travelling things.

I have had a number of really productive days lately, in part because I finally caved and took a trip to the Chiropractor after having been too poor to afford it since September. I am sore and my bones are moving about, but I feel much, much better day in and day out, my energy levels are just at a permanently reasonable level. I just need to find someone who specializes in myofascial release therapy to complete the quadfecta - eating better, moving more, Chiropractic, Massage. If I get all those right at the same time I suspect my productivity and wellness will show marked improvement. After a year of improving our food intake with fresh items and eating more often, the sharpness of my mind is remarkable compared to previous years. I'm trying to at least do things about the house when I feel like being a couch potato... Also, since the sabbatical, I've just felt a lot more like myself. I'm certain that this is partly due to spiritual matters, and equally certain that it is partly due to a focus on my physical needs.

I need time to move on

I need love to feel strong

'Cause I've had time to think it through

And maybe I'm too good for you

Today as I was listening to my classic tunes list on my road trip stayin' awake (and therefore alive) in the early hours, Cher's Believe came on, and it was just the song for a friendship scenario I mentioned in my last post. It has nothing to do with you if you're reading this. As I said when someone asked me if it was them, "If I were never going to talk to you again, I'd tell you straight up!" I laughed at myself when I said it in my head and proceeded to relate it to the person who was asking.

But I know that I'll get through this

'Cause I know that I am strong

I don't need you anymore

And I sang along to that song and I let my heart feel all the grief that I hadn't really given myself a chance to feel, that hollow numb pain that clenches, freezes, and cleanses when you let it work through you instead of bottling it. It wasn't just the pain of this friendship, but of others I'd had to end, of betrayal and hurt and anger from the past when I wasn't worth enough to someone. I'm starting to be worth something to myself, and that surprises me some days, but I can grieve for drama and hurt and friends-who-weren't-real-friends lost. So thanks to Cher and timing, I've moved forward again.

So despite a few tiny bits of minor frustration that will soon pass, pretty much everything I have to report is good. I am rejoicing at heart as I see so many parts of my life improving, and after a really rough point in November and December where nearly all of my friends were struggling with something HUGE in their lives - breakups, depression, severe financial issues, loneliness, illness, death, miscarriage, just to name the ones that come to mind easily - many of them have come into better times! New homes, new and amazing jobs, improved mental health, healthy new relationships, ill people getting better, time to heal with no other disasters… Six months can make a huge difference in people's lives. I think I can speak for almost everyone I know when I say, good riddance 2012. So far 2013 has proven to be leaps and bounds beyond it in every area I can think of!

Including in more frequent LJ posts... It's all part of coming back to myself, I think. Here I sit, feeling like me. What a relief.