*sigh*

Renovation for Fun and Profit

I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
I'm calling all angels

I feel like I lived at least a month this week. Most of that month was spent on an exhausting series of renovations that for me included a lot of caulking, a series of many water damage related issues incurred while fixing someone's poor excuse for an air conditioner installation that proved that doing it right the first time is always the better course of action, trying to mix a pseudo-matching paint colour, touch-ups, deep cleaning, and staging for sale (read: making a bachelor pad look homey with nothing but dollar store items.) It was a ton of work, but rewarding! I was reminded that nothing makes food taste better than extreme hunger after a day of physical work. I was reminded that nothing feels better than lying in bed for extra time after non-stop working, and that it still works to alternate brain and body work (I edited most of a wedding in the day I wasn't working on the condo.)

Day 1 of 3 was spent mostly in companionable working silence with my lovely friend Jen, and Paul's Mom and Sister helped on other days that weren't quite so quiet. =) It was good we had help for what turned out to be a pretty huge job.

As we were renovating on Day 2 of 3, I had done a whole lot of errand running, and just as I finished my final errand of the day on Saturday, I rounded a corner (which may or may not have been related to the tire exploding, I don't think I hit the curb or anything) and my back tire exploded. It was so loud I was a little shell shocked for a bit and I wasn't sure what had happened. There were no cars around, so I'd just concluded there hadn't been an accident when I heard the sound that told me what had happened. I'd never had a flat tire of the exploding variety before. I was driving down Preston, two blocks away, when I heard the unmistakable sound of a flat tire. I stopped across from the high school, but then I backed up a little bit to a place where the ground was wet but not icy - I figured that would be better for someone to jack the car… I called Paul and asked him to come and get all the stuff I was transporting to make sure that renos would continue. Around the time he got there, a man came walking up with a one-year-old girl dudded up in about ten shades of pink and ten layers and asked if we needed help. He then asked if I could hold his daughter while he got his tools out - then he proceeded to change our tire to the spare within about 15 minutes… So within a half hour of my tire blowing out, it was fixed, due to the kindness of a stranger who was "killing time waiting for his wife." It was almost surreal! I was on my way so fast I barely remembered it later - it's been kind of an eventful week… But the kindness of strangers is a wonderful part of this world.

Commercial Whippet Break: Our Fearsome Predator sleeps in the most ridiculous poses. This morning, as I sat staring at the wall for an hour and a half trying to get up the energy to start my day, (Really. I was that tired.) I saw Murphy on his back in his kennel contorting forward to bite at his hind feet for no apparent reason than that he could. He is so big now! Growing things are amazing. I hope to soon see some in the outside world. Things other than icicles, that is. There's an enormous icicle outside our bathroom that reminds me of a crime show I saw once where an icicle was a murder weapon. I think that might have been an episode of CSI? Anyway. Icicles are growing, which means soon green things will be too!

Speaking of TV, despite my recent brush with the kindness of humanity, I have an angry rant over a random Netflix movie I watched because I was bored and wanted some entertainment. Bad idea. These days (read: ever since getting married) most romance movies just exasperate me. (There's always the classics though.) The Rebound, the movie I watched whose title is of no material value to the plot, was the worst! The man was ACTUALLY perfect, the woman was a jerk... and  And when you randomly meet her again, with your life STILL IN PERFECT ORDER despite following her ridiculous advice, you should totally join hands again instantly. Because she didn't hurt you enough by walking away from the perfect love story for NO GOOD REASON.

Sarcastises: The premise was that if you're a man who is perfect husband and father material, but you're young and you haven't travelled the world yet, a woman can break off the relationship because she's freaking out about something not related to you doing something wrong. Basically because she's being a total spaz. Which is okay because she's a woman, because we all know that women are hysterical and therefore they can freak out about anything with no bad consequences for them. Also in today's world, what's obviously more important than ACTUAL maturity is how old you are in physical years, because gosh, someone might think a woman was making a mistake for having a relationship with someone younger than her who was in love with her and her children, who had the guts to stick up for her in front of her selfish and abusive ex, and makes good life decisions for himself and others in spite of the fact that he's living with his parents and works in a coffee shop (like a huge part of the population of 20-somethings because the world isn't so good to people our age these days. Just ask about five articles I've read in the past few months about housing, crippling student debt, and job crises.) What's really important for a man to present to a woman is not that he loves her deeply or is true father material, but that his age is similar to hers, and that he's travelled the world. /Sarcastises.

You've got to be kidding me. Augh. They say that science has done a lot to prove that media reflects life more than life reflects media. I sure hope life changes. =(

I feel refreshed and renewed this week, even though I didn't so much right at the end of the Sabbatical. I got some great feedback from Paul today that the things I had done on the Sabbatical to improve our relationship had done so in a  pretty big way, so I feel more than ever that I did a good job during the sabbatical in making good choices over a wide variety of areas in my life.

A week to my trip to Vancouver and so much to do. The condo goes on the market, I do a day trip to Edmonton, I finish editing a wedding or hopefully two… I was going to edit that wedding tonight, but I really needed a break from work things.

Mass today was great as usual, and I'm really loving attending at Holy Spirit. There is a great feeling of belonging there, and I have come to peace with a lot of spiritual areas of my life recently. God has been good to me, and after a time where I felt quite abandoned I feel like I am back in communion with Him. Things like that Tire Changing incident used to happen to me all the time, and it was a long time since things had consistently gone right for me, but it seems like, for the most part anyway, things are going right now.

I've had a bit of friendship drama recently which has made my heart hurt. I made a big decision to cut someone out of my life, and I feel certain it was the right one since I consulted several trusted people about it and they all agreed with my assessment though I did try to present the other person in the best light I could. So it seems that a goodbye is in order, which hurts. In the end I know it's a symptom of my growing self esteem. I need empowering, affirming people around me who really feel like I'm worth something. Sometimes people who have potential to be something great never become great, and you just have to deal with that and move on. Potential isn't everything. Some seeds never grow.

Paul and I recently made some other huge life decisions, so all things considered time feels stretched thin, to use the Hobbit's words, like butter over too much bread.

Let's hope my upcoming trip to Vancouver will prove restful and adventurous to contrast my work-filled present! I will have my laptop with me and I will try to share as much as I can of my time in one of Canada's other big port cities, since I loved Halifax so much. I didn't get a chance to see much of Vancouver last time, our time was so short, so I hope to see more this time when I'll be there for a week and a half.