A partial post backposted, since I never managed to post it that day.
My poor Paul is sick. =( He's been shaky and feverish for a couple of days now and quite obviously feels wretched. I hope he recovers speedily.
Notwithstanding the fact that the flu never comes knocking at a convenient time, it's a bad time for him to be sick, as we have had some major decisions to make. What I thought was a longer term temp position is now only until tomorrow, which throws life into a bit of a loop. I could just ask the temp organization to find me more work... On the other hand, I now have two tradeshows in January, a wedding show and a family show, and still have a little catching up to do with current clients.
It just seems like I need to make an enormous amount of money - a full salary, really - to keep our lives on track. I am sick at heart from the stress of feeling like I can never make enough, particularly in the winter season. I am exhausted, not only from staying up a little later last night talking with a client on Facebook, but from considering all the options and realizing that if I can just book more shoots and weddings, my monetary issues will get easier... One wedding booking is roughly equivalent to a MONTH of temp work. So I think it's time for the coldcalling, the rustling up of opportunities, and the lowering of standards at least a little bit. It doesn't help that Paul is, especially in his condition, scared of debt. Having lived with it life-long, it feels pretty normal to me, and before we got married there were always periods where my own debt got paid down. As soon as Paul starts bringing in a paycheque our fortunes change drastically. And that's just over half a year away.