a hero can save us

Funky Town

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere

I just booked a U-Haul for our fast approaching moving day. If anyone wants to tell me Uhaul is evil, I already know, it's just that there's not many options for one-way moving in Canada and the ironically named Budget is 1.5 times the cost. I think it's a bit better in my area anyway. I hope. Let's hope that my experience driving this beast is better than that of the company van.

I've been struggling a lot with loneliness, listlessness, and plain old dissatisfaction with life. There's a number of reasons for this. It's a bit harder than expected to shuffle home every weekend from here and then go back to Meadow Lake. Despite getting my fill of friends on the weekend, the weeks are long and full of TV shows and work. Watching Glee has been awakening my often dormant desire to be a performer. Perhaps someday I'll be on stage again, back to the music I started from. Until then, my guitar is sitting a few feet away and I need to open the case soon or I'll consider it a waste to have brought it hear. Learning guitar doesn't suit my present melancholy, so I haven't opened the case yet.

The nights are the worst, I stay up late sometimes to work or watch TV and suddenly the melancholy hits me like a sucker-punch. I feel pretty cooped up here without a car, even though it would be about a half hour walk to anywhere, I'm never quite motivated enough to get up and go that far.

I'll try and snap out of it sooner or later and just live. I'm working on it, really.

It's not that I'm dissatisfied with Paul. He's amazing, and he's happy with the work he's doing here every day, and that makes me grin just thinking about it. We've had a chance to spend a lot of time together here. Paul mentioned his love of running again a week or so ago and so I asked if I should put together an introductory running schedule. I found something online, modified it to an eight week program, and today should be our day four. It's super-amazing that we're finally doing something consistently active. We're also talking a lot about the future, considering a future investment in real estate, particularly rental real estate in small, growing places like Meadow Lake. Paul's thinking about the possible benefits of a job with a school division when he gets out of school because he's liked working with kids so far and the vacations match up with teachers - six weeks of summer.

I discovered that my form aggregator for Quote requests my website had been fielding requests for information about my business since July and I missed them all because it wasn't emailing them to me. Crazy technology. I kept wondering why nobody was finding me. So crappy, I missed a ton of possibilities, but there's a couple of people who might still be interested anyway, so at least I discovered the issue now. I built a pretty nice new section of my website dedicated to people who are planning a wedding, which should be good for business. And a business deal in Alberta is on its way to satisfactory completion. It looks like I've got another wedding booked for summer.

So life is actually going pretty well, considering... Just in a funk. Which I hope will end soon. Maybe once I make chili from scratch? =)