rawr, dinosaur love

Oceans of Love

Trace the moment for forever
Defenses paper-thin
Just one touch and I'll be in
Too deep now to ever swim
Against the current
So let me slip away

I'm very sorry I've been so absent here on LJ, both for your sakes and for mine. One of the only sad things about this most beautiful time of my life is the fact that there's just too much happening for me to record it all in the way I would like, word-perfect and glowing like I am because I am a happy, happy woman. I am engaged to the most wonderful man. He's been my friend, my best friend, and now he's growing into the man I care for as family, as my future husband, whom I will love and serve joyfully as he loves and serves me. A lifetime of service and growing together. Oh, I look forward to it.

We were speaking to someone at the church where we're getting married and we had to sign a document about freely entering the marriage, not knowing of any impediments to our marriage, and some similar things. One of the checkboxes was the agreement to enter into a lifelong contract that only expires in the event of a death. As we walked out of the church office, a well-timed coffin was being rolled into the church. Paul and I had a fragile moment later that day because we were both tired and started hugging and crying after I handed him a jar to open in the kitchen, and only half-joked, "What if you die first? Who'll open the jar for me?" Paul said we were obviously set, most couples would be thinking, "Can I make that commitment to someone? A whole lifetime?" and we're both utterly horrified at the prospect of ever having to live without each other. We've cried together twice this week, so empathetic to each other and so caring. We love so deeply, an ocean simply unfathomable.

I am approximately half finished writing my proposal story, for those of you still waiting for it. I'll try and finish it tonight or tomorrow! It's worth getting right, as I'm sure it will be the LJ post I refer back to most often for the rest of my life... Such an amazing moment.

Here, my dear
This is where
We shake the nightmare free
I dreamed to hold you in my arms

There have been mornings where, because of the car sharing, one of us got to wake the other person up and cuddle together for a bit in a warm and comfy bed before going about our day - I treasure those moments the most, the sweet comfort of just holding yourself close to the person you love. There have been wonderful times of fellowship with friends and church members. I got to meet one of his Mom's best friends yesterday. We also had a long and wonderful talk with Ken and Helen, where Ken said that he really loved and admired Paul, which Paul was very honored to hear, and Ken also carefully admonished us to always keep God first in our lives, because when the other person is your everything and they let you down, they really let you down. But if God is the one you truly rely on, you'll be okay. Good advice, advice to remember.

I brought over my nutcracker and Christmas ornament collection and my tree. We enjoyed the experience of unpacking and looking at everything together. Christmas is coming soon, and I can't wait.

Paul and I spent Halloween night watching the intro movie and first episode of Babylon 5, his favourite TV Sci-Fi and I have loved it so far, too. Yesterday it was a beautiful sunny day (today is too!) and we went walking to Broadway, holding hands and talking. It felt like coming full circle - our first walks together were in the bitter cold on sunny days.

I am nearly caught up with my life, which has been behind for over three months. In fact, I'm at the point where I may even manage to feel steady in a few days. I'm looking forward to feeling caught up with everything, ready to tackle the next steps. Wedding Planning. Business planning.

I've found love
As deep as the ocean
And your eyes
They hit me like a train
And your words serenade me
Like the sweetest of songs
Here I find peace again

  • Current Music: Love Songs. And Christmas music!