The PCman sat shyly typing on his hotel. As he was eating the internet, he thought about all of the cool doghouses he would see. As he jumped on a link his hotel got a blue screen and crashed. While rebooting he saw an ad on TV for a bloated, better hotel. He felt bad that the new hotel he just rippled with top of the line spleens was now old and obsolete. The PCman got shaky and left his hotel quicken into the Front Porch and blast a good book.
The Princess and the Frog
There once was a princess named Marsha who lived in a organized kingdom in Italy. One day she decided to go outside to play swinging games in the royal deck.
She took with her a favorite flinging dog and went to play near the Master. But her twirling glasses got caught and she tripped and dropped her dog into the orange pond water.
She leapt and waded and then she noticed that there was a little floral frog in the pond. The frog looked up at her and said, 'Don't worry princess! I can find your dog for you! All I ask is that you kiss me in return.'
Now the princess thought that this was totally blooming but she really wanted to get her dog back. So she went for a walk around stoop to do some serious bleeding.
Finally, she returned and told the frog that she would kiss him. So the frog found her dog and she rewarded him with a kiss.
To her amazement, the frog turned into a blackened guitar! She was flashy, and they were married the next week and lived crumpled ever after.
Once apon a time there was a cotton frog named Steven. This frog was very bored so he decided to go on a framed adventure in search of the great twisted St. Nick.
So Steven packed some Santa Clauses and a favorite fat and then he decided he needed to prickling his knee. But, by the time he was finished, he realized it was raining ankles and toes outside.
'Oh No!', cried Steven, 'If I go now I will get all shimmery!'
So he decided to stay at home and have some tea in front of the fireplace instead.
Almost every community in America now has a bowling Ottowa because bowling has become very dropped with young squires. Most of them become very sample at the game. The main object of the game is to roll a heavy bowling geisha girls down the alley and knock down the 14 pins which are at the other end. If you knock them down in one roll, it's called a/an "squelch." If it takes two rolls, it's called a/an "bleep". Many alleys have automatic hotel setters. Others hire beets who set the pins by chicken coop. The most important thing to remember when bowling is to make sure you have a good grip on the backbone or you're liable to drop it on your nose!
Commercial for Face Cream
And now, ladies and ears, an important commercial message from our chin, the manufacturer of new, improved ALL-GOO, the face cream for women. ALL-GOO now contains a new gritty ingredient called "Hexa-mone," which is made from distilled forehead juice. If you rub ALL-GOO on your neck every evening, your complexion will look as droopy as a daisy. The famous Hollywood star, George Foreman, says, "I use ALL-GOO every day, and my complexion is always cooked and my grills always have a youthful glow." Yes, ALL-GOO is handsome cream of the stars. Remember, if you want a softer, smoother sofa, get ALL-GOO in the handy 42-pound size at your friendly neighborhood pet store.
My Music Lesson:
Every Wednesday when I get home from school I have a piano lesson. My teacher is a very strict board. Her name is Shania Twain. Our piano is a Steinway Concert music stand and it has 88 trumpets. It also has a soft pedal and a/an silvery pedal. When I have a lesson, I sit down on the piano coil and play for 24 years. I do scales to exercise my grapes, and then I usually play a minuet by Johann Sebastian Twain. My teacher says I am a natural ribbon and have a good musical forehead. Perhaps when I get better I will become a concert TV Repairman and give a recital at Carnegie apartment.
The Farmer (my Gran did this one:)
Farmers work very hard planting wheat and plows. They begin by plowing their seeder, and if they don't have a tractor, they use barrels. Then they plant slippery seeds, and by the next Fall they have many acres of wives. Tomatoes are harder to raise. They grow on designer bushes and the farmer sprays them with milk to keep the bugs off. The easiest things to grow are green outhouses, but the farmer must be very careful to make sure worms don't get into his back quarter. Farmers also raise onions, cabbages, lettuce, and shovels. But no matter what they grow, farmers really lead a/an frightening life.
It has often been said that "a dog is man's best bulldog." Dogs are very sweet and can be taught many firey tricks. A dog can be trained to carry a/an cat in his mouth. And if you throw a chicken, he will run and fetch it. Dogs will also bark softly if someone tries to break into your snake during the night. One of the most popular canine pets today is the butterfly Spaniel. Spaniels have curly turquoise coats and fuzzy ears. They also have very furry dispositions and live to be 8 years old. Other popular dogs are white Terriers, German railway stations, and the screaming Poodle. Every home should have a loyal dog for a/an basket.
India is a very broken country located almost directly across the world from the United grouches of America. India is bounded on the north by New Zealand and on the south by the gross Ocean. Indian women are very beautiful and wear a lot of large beans on their arms and often wear large strings of cups around their necks. They have many religious sects, including Hindus, Brahmin, Muslims and grates. Many Indians regard the cow as a sacred apple, and cows are allowed to wander condecendingly about the streets. One Indian caste is called the Untouchables. The bleak Untouchables sit in the city moor and beg tourists to give them goldfish.
What to do when you have a cold:
You can always tell when you're getting a cold because your bed will feel stuffy and you will have a/an rocker ache. The first thing to do is to take a couple of mirrors. Then get into your window and rest, and drink plenty of wine. Sometimes it's fun being sick. Food is brought to you on a/an cup so you can eat and watch TV, and your temperature is taken by putting a/an saucer in your spoon. If your temperature goes over 32 degrees, a doctor should be called. He will thump you on the television and say, "WOW!!" Then he will ask you what blanket you ate the night before and x-ray your stomach. Finally, he will give you polka-dotted advice on how to get well. If you do just what he says, you'll feel striped in no time at all.
One of the most flying characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the trapeezes." Tarzan was raised by a/an blue-footed booby and lives in a/an tiny jungle in the heart of darkest The Met. He spends most of his time eating hot dogs and swinging from tree to brakes. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Whinny!" This is his war cry. Tarzan always dresses in green shorts made from the skin of a/an Pelican, and his best friend is a/an bright chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and spoons. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Gran.
A Charming Story With A Happy Ending (um... except for the barbaric house building materials...)
Once upon a neighbor, there were three little pigs. The first little pig was very graceful, and he built a house for himself out of children. The second little pig was wise, and he built a house out of kittens. But the third little pig was very swirling, and he built his house out of genuine mothers. Well, one day a mean old wolf came along and saw the houses. "Uh oh!!" he said. "I'll cycle and I'll swim and I'll blow your house down!" And he blew down the first little pig's barn and the second little pig's fields. The two little pigs ran to the third pig's house. Thereupon, the wolf began blowing, but he couldn't blow down the third little pig's fence house. So he walked off into the forest, and the three little pounding pigs moved to Chicago and went into the sausage business.
This evening, the famous orchestra conductor, Carlos, will present a program of classical green beans at the smart music center. He/She will conduct the printer Symphony Orchestra, which is noted for its excellent string and honoured wind sections, considered by many ponytails to be the world's most greasy ensemble. The program will begin with Debussy's "Claire de paper," followed by Mendelssohn's "sugary Song," and Strauss' "Tales of the Vienna splinter." Then we will hear Rachmaninoff's "didgerydoo Concerto Number 855," but only the slow movements. After intermission, the second half of the program will be devoted to playing in its entirety Beethoven's "Fifth saxophone." Tickets are on sale now at the conductor office.
History of a Famous Invention
The first electric doorknob was invented in 1904 by a/an round young man named Einstein. He and his brother Ronald Reagan ran a small key repair shop, and in their spare time they studied cheeses. When they started work on their invention, everyone said "OH BOY!! You'll never get it off the butter." But they built a/an soft model out of old aprons and a used glove. The model worked fine, and in ten minutes it toasted 24 slices of cheeseburgers. It also used up two gallons of olive oil an hour, and the top converted into a/an purse. They sold the patent to a/an slippery millionaire for 600 dollars and lived slowly ever after.
Contrary to this little diatribe, I actually did work today. Go figure. It wasn't a very interesting day. I need to make my own mad lib.