newsong (newsong) wrote,


Everybody open your mouth
Everybody just say "Ahh"
Everything will be all right
This won't hurt at all

Pain. My life has been pain for days, one kind or another. If the right line about life as a sheep is, "Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life" what I'm more familiar with is pain, sadness, fear, and uncertainty biting at my heels like a pack of nasty sheepdogs. Annoying at best and debilitating at worst, I could really use a break from reality, even if on a lot of levels, reality isn't so bad.

I need some shelter
I need some safety
Photographs, they haunt me lately
Chasing shadows as the evening takes me
I'm still searching but the picture's fading

Wedding photos went well. Got a call today that my first wedding still wants me to design a book for them. This means I will be in paid work for all of next week whenever I would like to work at that project, and for this I am thankful. I am yet to be paid for my last wedding, but when that comes and I finish this next project, I will have road trip cash and then I will, of course, go on road trips as frequently as I am able this summer.

I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

The post-surgery life isn't too bad, really. I'm not even sure if surgery is a valid word, considering they just yanked my teeth out and didn't even have to crack them up or anything. Today I rather abused my mouth by talking with it all day and then pseduo-chewing spaghetti tonight and not always remembering to take painkillers or put on ice. I have generally decided to find a more hospitable dentist, because I'm just overall not pleased with the emotionally terrifying experience of going to this one.

Oddly enough, I went for coffee with a friend to Broadway Roastery tonight and happened to look up at the dentist's office. It looked incredibly creepy with yellow lights and arms reminiscent of Doc Ock. Ughhhhh. 

I'm so high, I can hear heaven
But heaven, oh heaven don't hear me
And they say that a hero could save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait

Last night I was randomly job shopping and I already got a phone call back, someone who wanted an interview post-haste. I stretched it to Friday, citing my teeth. It's for a PT position for a graphic artist to work with a farming publication. In the phonecall he said it was three days bi-weekly, and I'm assuming the pay is decent.

Not only that, but blogging pays sometimes. I got an email from the owner of a jewelry store I'd considered working at last Fall, but he's actually personally asked me to apply because of this post. It's funny, because without knowing it I kind of highly recommended myself just because I was honestly excited at the thought of working there. If I end up working at a jewelry store on my favourite street - Broadway - and perhaps also as a graphic artist at a place minutes from my house? I'm pretty sure I will love my life with either job. People are always trying to hire me for things, man. What's up with that?

It's true, the way I feel was promised by your face
The sound of your voice painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
(You, now I see, even when I close my eyes)

Saw Ricki and Garrett and Paul today. It was a good day, really. Talked to my Aunt this morning about weight loss strategies for the summer and I'm actually really pleased about starting up with that soon. I've been an unhealthy weight for far too long, despite having lost 40 lbs over the last two years, there's still a ton to go. Pardon the exaggeration.

Other than all these profound and amazing wonders, my life kinda sucks. I am in pain, body and soul. Only thrice in my life have I left the city driving with the music turned up. This time I played through two albums of Linkin Park and made it to Warman and back and still didn't feel entirely satisfied. (A police car passed me because I always drive the speed limit when I'm upset. Any faster would be dangerous with my mind elsewhere than 100% on the road.) I should have driven in the direction of Clavet and said hello to my friend Leah other than on the phone. I'll keep that in mind for next time.

I am about to take some narcotics and crash into a blissful sleep with a dull ache to keep me company.

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick
And think of you
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
If you're lost
You can look
And you will find me
time after time

Tags: #life, dentist rants, driving, jobs, lyrics

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