newsong (newsong) wrote,

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Prove Me Wrong

I only hope that you realize
You are elements combined
Earth, air, fire, wine
Someday you'll be mine

I am such a fool. Foolish for loving people despite their flaws and in a number of cases, their inability to reflect that love back to me in beneficial ways. I guess in that respect at least I am approaching the nature of God.

Today I attended my last three classes of University. I was wavering in and out of the ability to concentrate, function, and enjoy those final moments. My first class involved an in-class essay that I was stunned to find went well despite my mere four hours of sleep and two hours of research.One of those things I attribute to divine help, that's for certain. I was late for my English class because I was printing in Printmaking, handing in my last assignment there.

A long-overdue trip to the chiropractor after my final class landed me in much more pain than usual. With the advent of a specific series of events, (some awaited for several days and some more unexpected) my mood plummeted. I ended up at Paul and Lisa's house and I talked with them about how I felt and that it really sucked that my last day of school ended up sucking so much. Then I tried to do coffee with someone else... and nobody was available whom I had optioned.

Then I went and prayed and read the Bible for a couple of hours at church, which was an excellent use of my time and refocused my perspective. And then I came home and launched into an entirely new and perhaps not altogether positive direction of draining myself.

Man, it's after 2am though... a friend has said she believes perception is actually altered after 2am... my perception was probably altered for a good portion of the later evening given my lack of sleep.

Tonight I am going to sleep and I'm not getting up until I feel like it.

Same goes for Thursday. I'm taking a weekend.

Then Friday I am celebrating the darkest of holy days when hope's light came into being in a man's final breath.

This is the darkest day I've seen
I can't find an opening
I'm feeling like a bomb
Like I'm screwing up my song
Feels like I don't belong
With no point in going on
Hey, come on,
Prove me wrong

Tags: #big events, #life, god, love

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