Make a night of it
Old enough to know
But too young to care
This morning I set my alarm for 9. I woke up. Turned my alarm off, lay there for a few minutes, weighed my options which I'd been debating the night before, and figured I'd be okay to sleep in as long as I actually got up to work later. I ended up getting up at 2pm, frying myself some eggs (I've been cooking the whole time here, or at the very least pseudo cooking - combining various semi-readymade foods and adding spices) and going to Printmaking, where I got about an hour of work done on my project due Tuesday, then tried to print a photo to work from, had some crappy printer issues, and then saw my friend Ben, who I ended up talking to for about an hour.
The house hasn't gotten above 20°C (68°F) and remained around 18°C all day. The furnace here isn't working properly, I don't think... Of course, this could also be because it's not the most well insulated house in the world, it's almost warm upstairs because heat rises, and it's -40° with a -57° (that's -70.6°F) windchill. There's only one way to describe that kind of cold: it's so cold it doesn't feel cold at all for about three seconds, and then it feels like you'll never get warm, ever, and the marrow in your bones has already frozen, much less the fleshy parts of you...
Despite this weather, the party I planned for tonight was a resounding success. We covered an entire table with food and between the 15 people here (including myself) ate nearly all of it. The party itself was fantastic.
I told Jadon I had to blog this moment, so I did. We were playing Taboo, and Jadon got the word "Tickle" and couldn't say a whole lot of words that one might say in this situation, but instead managed to be really creeptastic about it: "Some girls like this and some don't... It's an action.... Often with one finger..." Yeah. There were a few horrified looks. Also, later, someone got handcuffs and said sometimes they are pink and fuzzy... And her Mom was also there... And everyone was saying, "Don't ask me how I know!!!" It was good times. We also played a new version of Scene It, which has the unfortunate side effect of making me want to watch a bunch of movies. The first movie clip was from The Princess Bride, which made me want to see it again! And I really want to see The Shawshank Redemption again too.
Two things today led to a big decision. The fact that after barely doing anything for several days I still had to sleep in when I didn't even go to bed late and I'd had over 10 hours of sleep a night for days was a factor, then seeing Ben today and talking about school gave me my final decision about the suggestion from my advisor that I take sculpture next semester - I'm not going to take a 5th class that's technically a 6th and overlaps one of my other classes in my last semester when I'm trying to finish work for my show. No matter how recommended it is. The cons always outweighed the pros and I just don't have what it takes to hack it. I've burnt out my body so badly by going from school to work to school and not really stopping for 8 years. I need to finish these next three months and then really take a break and give myself a chance to be myself, make some money, pay some debts, start over with this life thing.
People keep telling me that it's unrealistic to say I'll never go to school again - the never say never thing, but I really don't think it's all that unrealistic. There's a small chance I'm wrong about that. But I don't think I am. I think I'm going to walk out with that degree and never go back as a full time student. I certainly don't rule out a class or two eventually, but I don't think I'll be a "student" again.
My other New Years Resolution is to cement a number of friendships, and to remember that people are more important than anything the U of S has to offer me. Whenever I can blend the two - invite people to Printmaking or Sculpture for instance - I will, but people are going to be the winners in my decisions this year. It's more important to life...