newsong (newsong) wrote,

Death x2

Ever seen a newspaper headline and known who it was?

Saskatoon man, 81, killed in car crash on highway near Osler

An 81-year-old man is dead after a fatal crash on Highway 11 Saturday morning.

At 9:30 a.m., a northbound 1995 Toyota Camry was attempting to turn left off the highway into the southern entrance to the town of Osler. A 2004 Volkswagen Jetta, traveling south, collided with the left-turning car. The Camry was hit on the passenger side, killing the man in the front passenger seat. A pair of female passengers in the Camry - 69- and 84-years-old - were transferred to hospital in Saskatoon with critical injuries. The 73-year-old female driver of the Camry and 44-year-old driver of the Jetta received only minor injuries. All the people involved in the collision were Saskatoon residents, except for the 44-year-old, who is from Hague.

No names have been released, pending notification of next of kin.

Being next of kin, I suppose I can reveal the names. Jacob. Elviera. Anna.

If I thought I was in a soap opera before, now I'm in a black comedy with enough irony to drown my bitterness in thought. This man was abusive to everyone in my family. He used me when he could in our family disputes because I was too young to know his true character and even liked him for a time. I was lucky to escape most of who he was, unlike the rest of my family. I was the last person to talk to him, as he called our place a month or so ago. I guess that means I'm the only one who actually said goodbye. Both of the times he left us.

And if you thought that was all, wait. There's more.

My Uncle - his son - died the same day, peacefully in his sleep of kidney failure. That man loved me because we were much alike, though he was a fence sitter between good and evil - equally both - and I chose my path with good. I look back at him in sorrow, wishing he could have lived up to his potential. Wondering if I'll live up to mine. He was trying to change when he died. He was issuing apologies to people he had wronged. He didn't issue one to us, though we deserved several. But at least we know that with mercy there is hope for his soul.

My Grandfather I am not so sure about. And as much as I would like to wish hellfire on him, instead I separate the man from the sin and hope that God's mercy prevailed.

So the prevailing feeling for my family is bitterness, anger, and mourning for what could have been. And the prevailing feeling for me is like standing in a whitewashed gallery space staring at the wall, written in huge block letters. IRONY. Everything about this life is irony. What kind of a play am I in anyway? I didn't choose this adventure. I am stuck in a novel. My choices are my own, but no one has control over those around them.

I was looking through family pictures today with my Aunt. It's finally sinking in.

In other news, I had to renew my cell phone plan and since my RAZR was being dorky with a lot of functions because it's old, I am taking advantage of the deal offered me and my trip savings and buying a KRZR K1 to replace my original series RAZR phone - $50 after rebate. I took a look around the last time I was at the Rogers store and I remember liking it. If I was made of money, I would have gone for the red version, but I like black as well, more than silver which is what I currently have with a black case. So, new phone.

How pale the news, in comparison. How odd the intersection of life and death. I will not let these deaths collapse me or my life. I need to postpone most of my thoughts until after. After I finish school. After I see two places I've always wanted to see. Death is so bloody inconvenient.

I sleep in my own bed tonight, my room is nearly done. Another two hours of work and it will be a spotless refuge. I will need a refuge for the next few weeks.

Pray, those who pray. We will need it.
Tags: #life, cell phone, death, in memoriam

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