So what I really should talk about initially to warm it up in here is how everyone (female) seems to think the new James Bond is really, really hot. I have heard from more than one person that there are issues with the plot. I have still planned to go see it now... And I assume that Casino Royale will have a similar effect on me if/when I see it as MI3 did - "Plot? What plot? I didn't notice it through his chest, seriously. I mean, you can't see anything past it it's so broad... and manly." In some things I am truly a girl, and though I enjoy needless bloodshed and ballroom dancing as much as the rest of humanity, I must confess that I enjoy Bond and MI for purely aesthetic reasons. Hot man trying to save the world and stuff blowing up is definitely a good thing in living color and motion picture. I make no apologies for such pure sentiment, devoid of any intellectual woes. It's just being honest with myself. I allow myself to abandon intellectual pursuits on occasion for a debased movie such as Casino Royale. Plus, he's old. Seriously, do I need to go through the whole me being more attracted to Harrison Ford than Matt Damon for the simple reason that he's older and more distinguished? In 20 years if Matt's still on screen he might just be my type. I'm a big fan of the older stars right now (Kenneth Branagh, Jim Cavieziel, Ford, Denzel Washington, etc.) - with the possible exception of a young and black one in Will Smith. I loved him in Hitch! But I digress.
Sorry to the intellectuals among my friends who are offended at my not always having sensibilities involving plot. I'm okay with watching garbage for the pure value of stuff blowing up and hot guys running about in an effort to save the world every once and awhile. Perhaps if I had any real romance the need to do this would diminish? Or not. Of course, I'd still be able to carry on a very intelligent plot related conversation afterwards because I pay close attention to details. Read: Everything other than the main character's appearance. =D
The moment I get a little time, I really should go see a movie. Definitely after this kind of workload and stressed-out-a-thon, I want to see some stuff get blown up. Loudly. Hot guys organizing the blowing up of stuff are just a bonus really.
BUT ANYWAY now that you all know exactly what motivates me to get my homework done at the end of the day - and believe me, it's a sad fact that the thought of watching a movie does motivate me lately - I'll say that I'm nearly at the finish line. I've got to finish a few more things for painting - I'd give it three more hours of work between paperwork and actual painting. Then I have to do some drawings for my drawing class of hands and feet, I already have one hand of ten done. I'll have to comandeer my friends.
I'm currently wiping my hard drive and reinstalling Windows. And everything else. I finally decided not to do Linux this time because it's a pain and I'm busy. I'll get to it in Summertime perhaps.
And I'm 80% done my statements for Manifesto, and about 30% done the project, which happens to be due Friday. Tomorrow after work Aaron is going shopping with me for materials and decor for IVCF. It's going to be a really nice formal on Friday. I haven't yet made a descision on what to wear since my new dress is considerably too tight and low cut for a small Christian event with mostly guys in attendance. Ah whatever. I can go with something classic perhaps. A mix of two of my current clothing pieces for interest sake. But every formal event that I have to recycle something old for makes me sad inside :( And after Aaron and I shop for Decor, I go draw the model on campus for the second time all term - at least providing some portfolio outside of class! And then I go set up my sculpture project in the sculpture building until late in the night, rip up the 12 bad books I got from the Library today for $2 all total (6 books for $1, seriously! I couldn't really carry more than 12, and I got thick ones.)
Anyways, I'm really looking forward to seeing more of my friends as December rolls around. I really need to get coffee dates with a bunch of people.
And a holiday seasonal job so I can afford to do all the stuff I want to do in January.
And days like today when I've felt alone all day regardless of who is around me, I wish I were dating someone. The wish fades as I realize how unlikely it is that it will happen and that if I ever really say anything, people would tell me I'm great the way I am, and I shouldn't spend time wishing for such and whatever it is friends tell you when you announce that you're down about such things. And realizing that the only people I would date are likely not interested in me, as has been the case consistently all my life, does not make this particular mode of thought more pleasant. But you can't make people love you, or be attracted to you. No matter how awesome their lives would be if they did ;)
These modes of thought may or may not fade as we get into the holiday season. I guess it will depend on a lot of factors.
I only continue to ramble because I'm tired of stamping out opinions that I know will inspire my classmates and some of my friends to hate me for my Manifesto project, I'm tired of waiting for my laptop to erase all the lovely preferences I was fond of, and I'm tired of waiting. For everything. And when I get out of this slump caused by an overabundance of work and school and a small amount of socialization (which I now tend to value every second of) these same problems and frustrations will assail me, and the guys who I want won't want me back, and the things that I want won't buy themselves, and my own hypocrisy and rebellion will eat me alive. Regardless of how much of a self-improvement I've made and continue to work towards.
Here, but for the grace of God am I. And if I only prayed for the strength to carry on more often, perhaps I'd have it. So Lord, give me the strength to say what I believe in publicly, whatever the consequences, and give me freedom from the pressure of needing someone other than myself and You. But if it be your will, give me someone and I'll do my best not to use them.