newsong (newsong) wrote,
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Alternatives

This morning I was attempting to find alternative methods of washing my hair - without using my hands. You see, at times I have really severe excema that leaves my hands cracked open, itchy, and blasted sore. If you clicked the disease-info link, you might have noticed the line, "Stress and anxiety can make otherwise minor outbreaks spread in some people." Yeah. This would explain why mine pretty much never goes away.

Maybe doing something I really like at school will make it all better?

I don't even want to be typing right now, but it happens to be part of my job, so I might as well warm up the sore fingers while doing something more interesting then typing true/false questions about tobacco and lungs.

All you smokers out there better quit before you die! 'Nuff said.



Last night I was out late because one of best friends #1-5 left for Montreal this morning. And though I managed to spend precious little time with her last night anyway, it wasn't too bad of an evening. I was pensive, and responding well to the Drew/Matt Conspiracy. I even made a couple jokes of my own which were likely only funny at the time and in context. You know how it works.

Perhaps I should explain my best friend scale. Four best friend spots for current ongoing "Friends Forever" type relationships for which I see no end in sight. Currently, those spots are filled by Stacy, Ash, Cathleen, and Ricki. Although with two of them being gone all the time, the may end up on the second "best friend" list for those not living in the same city for long periods of time. Some of you are on that list, but since it's not so well known I won't specify here. Plus that changes by the amount you post and comment, you know. So it's a pretty variable position. You're wondering about my fifth spot? Well in my Best Friend scale the fifth spot goes to a possibly transient "best friend at the time" that I'm hoping will develop into a 6th best friend, thereby leaving open the transient space. At this time that transient space belongs to Aaron, the B.C. physicist with a goofy sense of humor who made jokes the other day about unintentional existentialist humor. He also likes stargazing and Monty Python and Star Trek. Did I mention we hit it off pretty well? So those are my top 5. And I'd love to expand that list.

I don't remember how long ago I actually did a well thought out examination of my Best Friend label, but it had something to do with Stacy telling me what her Mom said about having more than one best friend. I think I mentioned something at the time about needing at least 5, though one inevitably came out on top. But I generally don't reveal that unless I say it to the person's face, you know "You are my BEST best friend!"

In other, big, awesome news, I bought an MP3 player for a good price. It's a nice hunk, too. An RCA Lyra Jukebox. 40 Gigs. I've got my entire ripped music collection on it and it's barely taken a quarter of the space. EXCELLENT.

Observe the Beauty:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com



And now with utmost randomness: A Trifling of Monty Pythonage.

Better check out http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Monty_Python_and_the_Holy_Grail and the Related Pages :)



Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: But you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up, will you? Shut up! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?


King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch?!? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No it isn't.
King Arthur: Well what's that then? [Pointing to the knight's arm lying on the ground]
Black Knight: I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy! [Charges Arthur, who chops the knight's remaining arm off]
King Arthur: Victory is mine! [kneels and starts to pray, when he is kicked in the head by the armless knight]
Black Knight: Come on then...
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, good sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oooohhh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!!!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound. [Continues to kick and taunt King Arthur]
King Arthur: Look, I'll have your leg.
Black Knight: Chicken, chicken....
King Arthur: RIGHT! [Chops off one of the black knight's legs]
Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that!
King Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you going to do, bleed on me???
Black Knight: I'm invicible!!!
King Arthur: You're a looney.
Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs!!! Have at you!!! Come on then. [Hopping on one leg towards King Arthur]
[King Arthur chops his other leg off, leaving his body upright on the ground]
Black Knight: Alright, we'll call it a draw.
[Arthur and Pasty start to leave the scene]
Black Knight: Running away, eh? You yellow bastard, come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!



Guard: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?




Minstrel: Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, oh, brave Sir Robin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin
He was not in the least bit scared to be smashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin
His head smashed in, and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off,
And his penis...
Sir Robin: Right! That's, er, that's enough music for now lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot...

Minstrel: Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away.
Sir Robin: No I didn't!
Minstrel: When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Sir Robin: I never!
Minstrel: Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.
Sir Robin: No!
Minstrel: Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.



Sir Bedevere: What makes you think that she is a witch?
Peasant #1: What, she turned me into a newt.
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant #1: ........... I got better!


Sir Bedevere: No, no. What also floats in water?
Peasant #1: Bread
Peasant #2: Apples
Peasant #3: Very small rocks
Peasant #1: Cider
Peasant #2: Gravy
Peasant #3: Cherries
Peasant #1: Mud
Peasant #2: Churches
Peasant #3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A duck!




Arthur: [Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch] How does it work?
Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric': And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
Arthur: Three.


And, one quick little gem:

It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!


I saw an icon for this today. But it needed a little help, so I volunteered :)


*grin* That makes everything better. Sort of.

EDIT: As of August 2007, this entry keeps getting spammed? I'm making it no comments allowed.
Tags: #life, #music, ebay, quotes, shopping
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