If you’ve only got one shot
If you’ve only got one life
If time was never on your side
Before I die I want to burn out bright
I had one really eventful day around mid-November. I went out to my car to find that I had left it unlocked and that it had been rifled through - entirely so - the glove compartment taken out, all the nooks and crannies covered. At the time I thought they had stolen my iPod - though a few weeks later I found it sticking in the pocket of my travelling bag (I mainly use my phone for music these days, so missing it wasn’t a huge deal, just hadn’t had anything stolen from me in a long time, and thinking someone had was an interesting experience.) The bag of loonies and toonies I normally had in the car were sitting in the house for some reason… So there was nothing there to steal.
After I determined what happened and took a photo and decided not to report it, I moved a lot of the junk that had been whirlwinded into the passenger seat and took off to do some errands - whereupon I managed to drop my bank card on the ground by the trunk of my car at Dollarama and come home to find it missing from my car and my phone. I immediately retraced my steps to find it on the ground - but that could have been a big pain in the butt. I have a visa debit card, so I use it to pay all sorts of bills - changing the number means a half hour of going through every creditor I have to change the number on file.
When I got home from retracing my steps and feeling very blessed to find that bank card again, a cat jumped up onto the hood right in front of me and scared the daylights out of me. I don’t normally shriek when I’m frightened, but my heart just stops and my body turns to ice. Not a fun way to end the evening, but again, harmless.
The whole affair was really strange - a bunch of aborted bad things, or unreal bad things. Frustrating, but not lethal, exasperating, but not really that big of a deal. But it is, somehow. Whenever I remember these things they seem meaningful. Not completely sure why yet. I'll probably figure that out eventually.
A few days later I shot an event for lawyers where I ended up listening to a Liberal MP who has achieved a great deal in her time in politics give a Lifetime Achievement Award speech. While I don’t share her politics, I do recall her as a politician that one respects, which is a rare bird, and one worth watching. It was a pleasure to work with her and the other speakers that evening as a photographer, and I was thoughtful as I got my car out of the valet parking that they had paid for me, and took home my free opened wine bottles… What do I want to achieve? My goals have changed.
Everything about my life feels… simpler somehow. I feel less and less like that vision I used to have of myself on stage is who I want to be.
If the saints are the model for living, there is one thing that consistently shines from the writings and thoughts they’ve passed down to us. The call to simplicity.
These events were simple, everyday victories. And I am trying to learn to see them as such. I am seeking a love of simplicity, even though it's not the easiest thing to look for.